AgriCulture: The People’s Business?

Rural Intelligence Blogs AgriCulture bloggers Peter Davies and Mark Scherzer are the owners of Turkana Farms in Germantown, NY. This week, Peter writes:

They are flowing in, the harbingers of the New Year—seed catalogues: Fedco, Burpee, Cook’s Garden, Gurney’s, Miller’s, Musser’s, Jung’s, R.W. Schumway, and on and on. Not so subtle reminders that it is time to begin thinking of the garden again.

Flopped out on the bed, a scrum of catalogues all around me, I dozed off. The next thing I knew I was reading that the U.S. Congress had decided to take a hands on approach to food production, and that meant that the vegetable seeds I intended to order for the farm first had to be run through for approval at the House of Representatives and the Senate and then signed by the President. Well, knowing how fast these things move, I thought I had better sit down, work out the seed order with Mark pronto, and overnight it to Washington immediately.

When I heard our seed order was due to come up on the Congressional agenda, I hightailed it to Washington on Acela and anxiously watched the deliberations from the gallery. After all, I had heard about new beginnings, I was surprised to see that the deliberations were not as bipartisan as I had expected. It is true that Mark and I have had little contretemps over seed choices over the years, but what I was witnessing bore no comparison.

Rural Intelligence Blogs After the reading of the Constitution, carefully edited to avoid negative memories of our slaveholding past, the Turkana Farms seed order finally came before the House. The honorable John Boehner, the new Speaker, argued with great conviction that he was not even sure people should be allowed to plant seeds in these difficult times, that “getting stuff from General Foods” was, given the size of the national deficit, the best thing for the American economy. Representative Eric Cantor excitedly popped up wide eyed and chimed in, “And how can Michelle Obama dare have a vegetable garden at the White House when it is not sanctioned by the Constitution?”

Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi wanted to know what the connection was, but didn’t wait for an answer, and went on to give her opinion that we should have more of the kind of vegetables that appeal to the poor and the middle class. Led by Representative Jesse Jackson Jr., the Black Caucus then stood up and shouted for more collards and okra. John Boehner gaveled the chamber into silence, and said he was tired of all this class warfare, and went on to argue passionately, wiping a few tears from his eyes, that our seed list should include vegetables favored by the rich as well. And lots of them.

Rural Intelligence Blogs Dismayed, I wandered over to the other end of the Capitol building, where I found the deliberations of the Senate had been interrupted by a filibuster to prevent even the consideration of the Turkana Farms seed order. It was conducted by Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who planted himself at the lectern and proceeded to read page by page through all the seed catalogues he had received in the mail, which took two sessions, until finally he was so tired he actually smiled, and had to sit down. I thought we were next on the agenda but then, apparently in imitation of the House, Senator Rand Paul moved to have the entire Constitution read out to the Senate. “Fortunately” I thought to myself, “it is still winter, a long way from planting time.”

Rural Intelligence Blogs Finally, after the prayer-like reading of the Constitution had been completed, the deliberation on the Turkana Farms seed order began, and a battle broke out with John Kerry favoring more arugula and John McCain arguing for iceberg lettuce. Senate Leader Harry Reid attempted a compromise by suggesting romaine but was shouted down. Barney Frank sputtered out that his people favored “Lola Rosa lettuce.” This was howled down amidst snickers. And John McCain leaped up demanding to know why he was even in the Senate chamber since he was a member of the House of Representatives.

After Barney Frank had been ushered out, Mitch McConnell opined that, “Given the huge national deficit, the American people should be cutting the salad course these days.” This, he insisted was “the American thing to do. But,” he went on after some careful consideration, “if it is the will of this illustrious body that the American people should be allowed to eat salads, I feel strongly, with all my heart, that the actual choice of which lettuce should be left up to the will of the American people as clearly expressed in the last election.”

“And in the Constitution as well,” Rand Paul added, standing patriotically with his hand over his heart.

Rural Intelligence Blogs “Where in the Constitution are vegetables mentioned?” Senator Schumer demanded, looking over his bifocals.

“Weren’t you listening? We just heard it!,” Mitch McConnell solemnly countered.

“I must confess I listened to the entire Constitution, and I heard not one reference to vegetables,” Senator Schumer retorted, again looking over his bifocals, “I only heard vegetables mentioned in your filibuster.”

“Then,” Mitch McConnell triumphantly countered, pursing his lips,” if vegetables were not mentioned in the Constitution, we can’t have them!” More furious debate subsequently ensued.

But finally Harry Reid gaveled the Senate to silence and saved the day by pointing out that “…automobiles are not mentioned in the Constitution, but we all drive them.” There was silence, and the matter died. Apparently, our senators could consider doing without vegetables but not their automobiles.

Rural Intelligence Blogs The debate went on. And on. Each of the vegetables we proposed was investigated to see whether it was a true American vegetable or had foreign roots. We lost Brussels Sprouts and Swiss Chard in that one. But Senator Lieberman argued for, and managed to save, Jerusalem artichokes. It was touch and go with haricot vert until Mary Landrieu quieted the chamber and explained that it was only French for green beans. But there was no saving Lima beans. On the other hand, Long Island cheese pumpkins came through with flying colors. To his credit Lindsay Graham insisted that “.. no matter what might be the origins of black-eyed peas, they should, my fellow Senators, be approved.” Had Senator Kennedy still been alive I am sure he would have championed potatoes.

But when, finally, after a good month of all this back and forth , it was time to come to a vote on the Turkana Farms seed order, it was felt that there were not enough yea votes to reach passage and so, to my great disappointment, the vote was tabled. And I reluctantly returned to the farm to bring Mark up-to-date and to await an eventual decision

As March and April passed, Mark and I became more and more anxious, having fallen behind in our greenhouse planting schedule, and seeing, with the approach of Memorial Day, a really important planting time soon upon us. But still no decision came. We moved into June and July and had only weeds to show in our vegetable garden. Soon it was August, then September

Rural Intelligence Blogs Finally one late evening on CNN, I learned that the Turkana Farms seed request, though greatly compromised, had been accepted by both houses and was on the way to the White House for signing. This final stage was achieved on November 5th, and….I woke up. And sat up in bed.

It was all a dream! It was still January! And I was still surrounded by my scrum of catalogues! But best of all, I was free—free to choose my own vegetables, free to plant them when I willed, free of bipartisan wrangling and gridlock. It was morning in America again. And we were the farm shining on a hill!

Had I had a crutch I would have stood up and staggered about the room shouting, “God bless us every one!” —Peter Davies

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